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I have been back to work since August 4.  There were definitely lots to deal with going back to work after summer vacation.  I had been off since March, but more importantly I was leaving behind the most precious thing I had ever helped create, my son Ronan.  I wish I was lucky enough to be one of those Mom’s that get to stay at home with their little ones.  However, being that we barely make ends meet with me working there is no way I can stop.  Another thing I was dealing with was a switch to a new grade level:  Pre-kindergarten.  This is not an easy grade to switch too.  First, I have had no training for this program (it is pretty intensive).  Second, I was in denial all summer and did not do any planning or researching (I am totally to blame on that one..but I wanted to spend all my free time with my cutie pie).  So going into work I was fairly upset and nervous.

Things have been going really well.  Some days it is really hard to go to work and not stay home with my little man.  And other days it is still hard but I have an easier time going off to work because I know he is in good hands and I will get to see him as soon as I get home.  He is getting so big and more alert each day.  He is rolling over (and trying really hard to crawl) and starting to eat rice cereal (which he so far is not very interested in but I keep trying to give it to him).

I love teaching pre-kindergarten. I had always been interested in this grade level so it is nice to have a chance at it.  However, I do not plan on staying at my current school.  And I worry that with having five years in kindergarten, one year in second and now this year in pre-kindergarten I will not be given the chance to be hired for higher positions down the line.  Lately it seems like most positions available in the schools I want are upper grades.  I have no problem teaching upper grades…just do not have the experience.  I am thinking I will stay at my current school for a few more years to get that pre-kindergarten experience and be able to state that I am comfortable with it and able to teach it in other schools.  However, if an opportunity came about that I was able to leave sooner I would take it.  Right now I am just going to try to go with the flow.

I will finally be getting the first two days of training next week for teaching pre-kindergarten. I have a wonderful paraprofessional who has helped guide me to the procedures of the program so I feel fairly confident that I am doing most things correctly.  But it will be nice to have things explained and written down for me to refer to.  I love that I am able to do things creatively and have fun.  The kids in my class for the most part are great kids.  We have a few kids that we have to stay on.  And a few that listen to my paraprofessional more than me and that is frustrating..but at least they are listening to someone.  They will learn that I won’t put up with that and start listening to me more.

So I go to work each day wishing I wasn’t there but am still trying to enjoy myself and learn along with the students.  I need to work so I can pay off our ridiculous amounts of debt (that I am amazed at how fast it accumulates). With our growing family I am really wanting to renovate and sell our house to get a bigger one that we can stay in for years and years.  The only problem is we do not have any extra money to do the renovations.  :(  With Andy working two jobs (one pays better than the other) he still does not make enough.  The one has cut back his hours terribly so it is time for him to find something else.  It is hard though because with the cut hours he is able to be the main person that watches Ronan which I love.  It is great that one of us gets to stay at home with him.  When he does work Andy’s mom gets to watch him which is also great.  But she has appointments and such that she has to go to so she cannot always watch him. So if Andy worked more who would watch Ronan?  We would then get more money from him working more just to turn around and have to pay a nanny to watch Ronan.  Being an adult is hard sometimes! I work so hard and have earned extra degrees and yet I still don’t have extra money to buy things that I want or do things that I want. It is so frustrating.  I hope we can get our finances in order so that we can do the extra things that others seem to be able to do!

Hopefully this journey over the next year or so will help me to grow as a stronger person. I am so enjoying watching Ronan grow and will try to enjoy my job as well.  Hopefully we will also come up with ways to knock down this debt so we can enjoy every day without money stress!

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